- Maybe there isn't anything I *should* be doing...
- Silence is frequently the best thing. You don't have to say something every time your child does or says something and frequently what they want, what anyone wants, is for someone to listen to them or be with them. It feels really quiet at first but I think we are addicted to commenting and you get used to it.
- allow allow allow
- You aren't giving in, you are noticing how important something truly is to your child.
- It's how I feel about myself...
- More often than not, it pays to just shut up and listen. really listen. Just like in any relationship. In fact - kids are just people and deserve the same consideration, respect and kindness anyone deserves.
- There is never a useful role for criticism in loving relationships.
- It is always useful to presume of our children the best possible intentions and respond from that presumption to any given situation.
- Preserving dignity is a worthwhile goal toward preserving connection. There is never a need to point out when a child is wrong. They know already.
- Kids WANT things, it doesn't mean parents have to give children everything they want, but it's still OK for them to ask. Many times just listening to a child's desire (and the feelings about not getting all they desire) is all that's needed.
- Children want to please adults - they are naturally sweet and cooperative, and when they are not, there is usually an unmet need or hurt somewhere that needs to be addressed.
- There are always solutions to problems, creative solutions that mostly meet everyone's needs...if a parent keeps the faith, and takes the time.
- When children act the least lovable is precisely when they need love the most.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Posted by Lyla Wolfenstein at 1:56 PM