- Support your kids in what they want to do. Don't tell them all the awful things we think are true like artists can't earn a living and only a few people get to do what they want.
- Kids are their own people and we can support and love them and show them the way as best we can *and* they have their own loves, their own personalities, their own passions and it isn't a good idea to try and mold them. Let them be who they are and love them for that.
- What I want for my kids is for them to be happy and have a life they love. That is up to them. What I can do for them is love them.
- Each child comes to this world with their own temperament, psychology, spirit - whatever you want to call it. It is our job to celebrate, embrace, and guide them, rather than try to form or alter them. Whenever I catch myself thinking "they need to learn to..." i try to rewind and start over. If they need to, they will. In their own time.
- Grades, behavior, manners, messes, eating habits, TV habits...all of these will not affect the kind of people your kids grow up to be.
- Hugs, cuddles, kisses, kind words, declarations of love, questions about what they really want and think...all of these will affect the kind of people your kids grow up to be.
- Believe in your child always and over anyone else on earth. Believe them, no matter what they say or how incredulous you feel.
- We don't need to teach them anything...they are here ready to learn and just already ARE learning. Sometimes we get too busy "parenting" ie: teaching them something "they" say children need to learn that we forget to be there for the child and support what THE CHILD IS learning.
- It is OK for your kids to be sad, disappointed, angry, frustrated with your choices or limits or just life. These feelings need to be as acceptable as excitement, joy, happiness. It takes as long as it takes for them to process these feelings. They cannot stop crying if they are still hurt, just because you told them to. The best way for you to help them is to just BE with them while they feel these feelings. Let your child BE.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
It Is What it Is, We Are Who we Are
Posted by Lyla Wolfenstein at 1:40 PM